As someone who's long been dealing with near crippling depression this general time each year, it's oddly comforting to read everyone else's blogs and seeing how everyone else is a bit of an emotional wreck as well. I think that may sound terrible, but so be it. I don't remember ever having been overly depressed, save (obviously) when I'd get scolded or punished for something, so I'm assuming that, like many mental disorders, my depression kicked in with the onset of puberty. I'd love to pinpoint it somewhat closer than that, but my memory is not very unlike swiss cheese, and trying to recollect the bulk of my childhood (really, even the bulk of last month) is an exercise in futility. I'm pretty sure I was miserable all through middle school, so puberty would fit. While it has never gone away or lessened, I have come to accept it enough that my sister and friends are no longer researching suicide prevention numbers, so I've got that going for me, but withut fail, every year around January and February I just fall to pieces. Supposedly it's the lack of sunlight, as exposure to sunlight causes you to generate some chemical that fights depression in some vauge, murky way that I'm not clear on and probably involves electrons somehow, though that would seem to mean less to me when I'm working overnights anyway. Back in college I briefly tried combating this with alcohol, as the time-honored way of dealing with such matters, but that unsurprisingly didn't work out too well, so I've been trying to keep to a vow to stop drinking entirely for the time being.
Such a fun update this is, isn't it? Here, to make up for the dourness of the preceding paragraph, here's a link to
http://www.cuteoverload.com. Enjoy.
