Florida Day Trois

We started the dayout at Epcot, and after going on the required rides, of which Mission: Space (featuring the acting talents of Gary Sinise) was really the only good one, and of which Ellen Degeneres's fucking 45 minute long movie about energy was just torturous to sit through, we split up for lunch at my suggestion. Since Epcot's known for being the park to go to for a variety of food, in large part because it has sections devoted to a number of countries, I made my way over to Japan to have some nice sushi for lunch. Of course, being a relative novice to sushi, I used way too much wasabi (pretty much dumping the entire glob into the puddle of soy sauce my two packets had provided and mushing it around a bit), and had to run back in the building for more soy sauce packets to dilute it a bit. After enjoying my now appropriately-watered-down meal, and washing it down with some plum wine (Disney is very good to the winos), I explored a few more of the countries, during which I learned one very important fact: Disney is so totally racist against Asians. Seriously, the night before this I had scoured two enormous toy and gift stores at Downtown Disney as best I could in search of a Mulan doll or memento for Stay-C, and found stuff for almost every movie BUT that one (seriously, they even had stuff for Pete's Goddamn Dragon), and, even though they have an entire section at Epcot devoted to the country Mulan came from, there was still nothing at all to be had there. Just shameful, is what it is. They did have a nice short video on the history of China's culture, though, so that was good.

After being disappointed by China, I rode a viking log flume and got my face painted in as girly a manner as I was able, including glitter (yes, there were photo ops) before rejoining my group just in time to watch the 3D film Honey I Shrunk the Audience. I had seen it the last time I was at Disney, but it was still great.

Making our way back to the hotel, I played in the pool a bit more (after trying my hardest to wash off the face paint, and succeeding to remove all but the parts around my eyes that made me look like a damn drag queen in the water), we went to the Magic Kingdom again for dinner, then enjoyed Buzz Lightyear's shoot em up ride (I got the highest score of everyone in my party, go me), and then my sister and I made the foolish decision to go on the swirling teacups a bit too soon after eating. As I normally do, I spun them so fast we both got retardedly dizzy and had to lay down for a bit after we got off the ride. This was a bit of a fatal miscalculation, as it left us stuck on the wrong side of the parade that goes through the Magic Kingdom every night at 9 and 11, so we had to wait for it to finish (the dwarfs pull up the rear, if anyone was wondering) before going over to the new Pirates of the Caribbean ride. The ride itself was mediocre, but it had the best line ever, as we just wandered through the various catacombs of the building the entire way and got to the ride without being slowed down by a single other person. My mom and her friend left for the hotel afterward, but my sister, brother in law and I all stayed for Splash Mountain, because dammit, I like that ride. The line was awkwardly long, given how late it was, but it was totally worth it. We then hurried to make it back to the bus stops before we got cut off by the next parade.

I would be remiss if I omited what happened at this point. You see, while I do like to think that I'm pretty good with children, the ones at Disney, or, more precisely, the whatever attitude the parents that take their kids to Disney have, were kind of grating on my last nerve by this point. So with that in mind, here's what happened. Much like the delightful bus system they have at Rutgers, Disney tends to limit the number of busses that arrive late at night, so we joined an already large crowd of people waiting for the hotel bus, and then had another large crowd form behind us by the time the bus actually arrived. It also bears mention for this anecdote that for whatever reason, the back door of the busses at Disney only open to discharge people or to admit handicapped people, everyone else has to get on from the door in the front, I guess to be fair to the people that had been waiting longest. Whatever the reason, we all started getting into the front door, and after my sister and brother in law had made it on, a little girl that I would guess was about 3 or 4 years old decided to get up from her mother's lap right in front of me and block the whole aisle so that I, and the twenty or so people behind me, couldn't get past. I waited a good four or five seconds for the mother to intervene, but as she seemed unwilling to resolve the situation, I took matters into my own hands and roughly shoved her out of my way into whomever it was that was sitting next to her mother. I was not expecting it, but really, it would have been nice had the people behind me given me some amount of applause for my heroism, but as it was I still made my way to my family, and then back to our hotel room, feeling pretty damn good about myself.